still

Still going through the hardest time of my life right now.  The Zoloft is helping a lot.  The physical symptoms are muted.  The therapy may or may not be helping.  I’ve gone twice and I will go back next week.

My relationship feels very normal and comfortable.  There is still a lack of intimacy and sometimes affection.  I’m just trying to be patient to see if it comes back naturally or what.  Date nights begin a bit awkward but then seem to go fine after we get in the groove.

The kids are fine and oblivious.  I have a baby shower tomorrow that I do not want.  A lot of family and some friends of my sister will be there.  People I don’t really want to interact with.  And they all know what I’m going through, so double awkward.

I just keep praying and hoping for things to get back to normal, but better.  For both of us.

Running happens on most days.  I don’t think I have done a 10 miler yet this month though.  My longest run has been just over 8 and I try to do at least that much every week.  Some mornings I am just too anxious to run or I am extra exhausted from emotions and pregnancy.  I had a nice run at the park on Sunday morning while Red was in Sunday school.  Being outside for the first time in a while was hard.  I felt every incline.  I also ran outside two other days when it was nice this week.  Sometimes it was a struggle, but I enjoyed the fresh air.  My support belt has been helpful.

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