what’s it like to be a working parent?  well i can say that i am amazed at how much time I frittered away before I had kids.  Seriously.  wtf was I doing all day when I could have been out saving the world?  or at least the dogs of the world.


alarm goes off at 4:27 a.m. i go downstairs and immediately eat a snack because SUGAR ADDICTION.  (it’s so bad lately yikes) It’s a sugar cookie and some Reese’s PB chocolate spread.  I feed the dogs and let them out.

4:40 a.m. the dogs are back inside so I settle onto the couch to pump.  I browse Instagram while I pump and sometimes read magazines on zinio.  My boobs are finally empty around 5:05.  (20 ounces!) There are no empty bottles to fill or wash so i cap them and put them in the fridge.  then i clean out my other two so I can use them to pump later.

5:10 change into sports bras, shoes, take a piss, brush my teeth

5:15ish start up Hulu and hop on the treadmill.  planned 5 miles with fartleks but do 6.25 instead because no kids were awake yet.

6:10 a.m. drink several cups of water. fill up cup with milk for Red and put it on her bed table for when she wakes up.

6:15 a.m. brush teeth, put in contacts, wash face then hop into shower

6:25 a.m. put on my underwear and bra then grab pump bottles for next session

6:30 a.m. do a plank then turn on the bravo app so i can watch RHOBH while i pump.

6:45 a.m. finish pumping.  got another 7 ounces. start to pack pump for work but E wakes up so I leave everything out and feed her a bottle.  6:55 a.m.  E pukes on herself and me, but I am still in just my undies so i just rinse off.  Change her and Red walks into the room while i change E.

7:05 a.m.  Force Red to go potty and then get her dressed for school all while holding onto the baby who now weighs 14 pounds and is hopefully giving me awesome arm muscles

7:20 a.m.  Turn on adventure time for Red.  Feed her yogurt and applesauce because child will not feed herself.  still holding E -gotta get in my strength training ha.

7:35 a.m. Go back upstairs to gather my pump stuff.  Clean out bottle and fill it up, put in fridge and pack bottles for babysitter.

7:42 a.m. I finally head upstairs to take a minute..literally A MINUTE to put on makeup.  i don’t know why it takes my sister so long to do hers.  My hair is a mess, but no time for that business.  i finally put E down in her pack n play while I get dressed.

7:48 a.m. E and I head downstairs and I put her in her pack n play down there so i can eat breakfast.  shove a couple hard boiled eggs into my mouth.  make a turkey roll up with some cheese.  pack up my pop and V-8 for later.  start my car with my remote.

7:55 a.m. kiss everyone goodbye..even the dogs!  take a finger of peanut butter from the jar before I go.

8:00 a.m. arrive at work and say hello to everyone.  take my pump into the bathroom and pump for about 12 minutes because i will not have time to do a midmorning one like i usually do.  get only about 5 ounces.

8:15 a.m drive to remote location to work.  work there until 12:30. take company car back to work then drive home for lunch.

12:40 p.m. wash out pump bottles. microwave lunch.  take to couch so i can pump and eat.  dogs are begging for food and i am extra vigilant that they don’t take any.

1 p.m. Pumped about 13 ounces, dump it out because i have no empty bottles and i drank 2 caffeine laden pops before lunch.  munch on some sugary snacks and head back to work.

1:10 p.m. back at work.  Meet with IT guy.  Not working public desk, so i get to do some event planning from my office.  Fighting off a headache.

4:30 p.m. off of work.  Drive home and say goodbye to RKY who is covering a half shift tonight.  Red is busy playing and E sits in her Rock N Play and watches me pump.  She whines like a cat, it’s such a weird noise, because she wants me to hold her.  I feel bad but I pump about 12 ounces and then pick her up.

5:00 p.m. My mom comes over to paint our house.  Red “helps” her out.  I hold E and make myself some dinner.  I eat it and then I make Red her dinner.

5:30-6:00 p.m. I hold and feed E and attempt to make Red eat, which doesn’t work out so well and she ends up eating three pieces of bacon and that’s all.

6:00 p.m. I put E down and start to make brownies because of my massive sugar craving/addiction. She starts whining like a cat again after 5 minutes.  It’s pretty hilarious sounding, but I pick her up anyway.

6:15 p.m. I sit on the floor in the kitchen and play Play Doh with Red and E.  A daddy long legs appears out of nowhere and Red has  a meltdown.  She is terrified.  My mom stops painting to comfort her while i kill the thing.  Thank God it wasn’t a wolf spider.  Poor girl was panicking.

6:45 p.m. I take out the brownies and put them on the porch to cool.  Red gets out the kinetic sand to play with.  I hold E and play with Red, mostly trying to keep the dang sand in the box.  The dogs come over and try to eat it?

7:00 p.m. My mom leaves, and E needs a nap.  I rock her and put her down in her Rock n Play.  Then Red and I get out her valentines for school and we fill them out for her friends.  Then we look at pictures of Shopkins on the computer.

7:30 p.m. I eat too many brownies.  Then E wakes up, so we all head upstairs to put our pajamas on.  It is quite a process to get us all in our jammies.  I convince Red to brush her teeth and she does a pretty good job.  She also gets toothpaste all over her pjs, so I just try to wipe it off with a rag.  E is being very fussy and Red is trying to comfort her but it’s not helping.  This is when I feel my stress rising.  I manage to get ready for bed too.

8:00 p.m.  We pick out some books and sit on the couch to read them.  Then I feed E again while Red looks at books on her own.

8:45 p.m. I turn on the YouTube app and we find a toy review video to watch.

9:00 p.m. I change E and give her medicine (ear infection).  She is very happy and giggly.  I go to the couch to check on Red and she is fast asleep.  This is a surprise.  I put a binky in E’s mouth and lay her next to Red (they do this every night, it’s so cute).  She is also surprisingly out in about 2 minutes.

9:15 p.m. I wash some bottles and then get my pump bottles out.  I sit on the couch next to the kids and pump for about 20 minutes.

9:45 p.m. RKY comes home.  He puts the kids in their beds.  I pick up the living room a bit and let the dogs out once last time before bed.

10:00 p.m. I lay on the futon in RKY’s room and he turns on Ghost Adventures.  I fall asleep about 10 minutes later

11:00 p.m. He wakes me up and I head to our room to sleep.  I check my phone to make sure the alarm is on for 4:27 a.m. again.

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