Monthly Archives: February 2014

Just shut up. You’re wounding my soul.

Last post was over 3 weeks ago.  Boston is a no go.  I got too tired.  I also got pretty sick for a few weeks.  Today I feel better, but not completely.  I still struggle to eat enough and feel a bit shakey when I haven’t.  There is no way I am getting enough food to fuel long runs.  Plus the weather still sucks.  It won’t be above zero at running time until maybe next weekend.  Maybe.

I think there were two or three days last week where I was able to get out and run.  One of those days was probably too cold.  I thought my ears were frost bitten even though I wore a hat.  I got in around 48 miles for the week.  This week I knew my miles would all be treadmill, so my goal is for 35.  Next week, all my miles will be treadmill too.  I am thinking of saying “screw running!”  and just cross train on most days next week.  I guess by cross train I mean do yoga and some other exercise videos.  Those are really my only options.  Hopefully the weather will be better the next week and I can get in another long run.  There are a couple of half marathons I would like to do.  Too bad Boston doesn’t have a half option.

My biggest prego symptom is being tired.  So very tired.  I am useless after 8 p.m.  I usually have a mid afternoon slump too around 2.  I have been falling asleep around 9-9:30 and waking up around 530 or 6.  7 on the days I don’t run.  That’s 9 1/2 hours of sleep!  We still haven’t told anyone yet because I don’t see the doctor until next week on Thursday.  I am hoping we hear the heartbeat and then can go get an ultrasound.  I will be almost 10 weeks by then, but I still want to wait another few weeks to tell people.  This pregnancy seems to be going by very slowly.  Last time it seems like it went faster, but that could be because I didn’t take a test until I was probably 5 1/2 wks along.  This time, I took it the day I was supposed to get my period (4 weeks).  My boobs didn’t balloon up like they did last time, so it has been easier to hide, though sometimes I dry heave in my office at work.

I think I am worrying more this time around too.  I even found a site that has miscarriage rates by day.  I also read about stillbirths because I know two people who have had them.  The worrying never ends.  You worry about the baby inside you for 9 months, you worry about yourself the last couple of weeks.  Worry about both in the few weeks postpartum, and then worry about SIDS for 4 months.  Then you have to worry about choking, falling, sickness, etc for several years.  Like 18 years.  and then it doesn’t really stop, but you feel like you have less control.  Whew.  I am my mother.

He’s a tall glass of… annoying

OMG I want to run outside.  I mean, I probably could…I’m sure Alaskans will head out in -10 degree weather and stumble through the snow and ice.  I had a cut back week last week and ended up with 42.5 miles.  I could feel myself getting a cold, so I took it easy, drank lots of V8, and managed to avoid getting full blown sick.  Huzzah

The rest of this week does not look promising for outdoor runs.  I think I have managed, with two a days and short easy rest day runs, to make a plan with 50 miles in it.  Sunday I ran 9 in the a.m. and 2 later.  Monday I ran 6 in the a.m. and planned on doing 2 at night.  Didn’t happen.  So today is my rest day, but I got up 15 minutes early and fit in those 2 from last night.  The original plan was to do my 15-16 miler this weekend, but we have a full on blizzard coming and I would prefer to push the run back a week than to do it all on the treadmill.  My 14 miler was on the treadmill a couple wks ago.  It went ok, but I was sweaty and yuck.  So if I want to make 50, I will have to do 7 for the next 3 days and 10 on Saturday.   I keep checking the forecast in case something changes.  

So, I am expecting, but it is still very early and I am not sure if it is going to “stick.”  I have not allowed myself to feel any excitement yet and I will not until after I have visited the doctor and have a strong confirmed heart beat.  Even then, I will be cautious.  I have not even called my doctor yet as he does not see patients until 10 weeks.  My chest is sore, but I feel like it’s subsiding which is not a good sign.  I have a little nausea, but I tend to have that even when I’m not preggo because of my inner ears.  I am actually hoping to feel a bit more sick because I believe that is a good sign.  However, I was not really sick with Red, I remember dry heaving a few times when I first woke up and then was fine.  

I am still training for Boston, but I am not sure if I will actually run it.  I will go to watch if I can’t.  I think my mom will refuse to let me leave if she thinks I am going to run it.  She is already mad at me for planning on going without her.  Legitimately mad.  So I don’t even feel like running it sometimes.  I have a good qualifying time for 2015, so there is always the possibility of that.  I’m also considering running one closer to home, for peace of mind.  Of course, I will do what my doctor recommends.  Barring injury or some complication, there are definitely some half marathons in my future.