I’m Randy Butternubs

Back from Disney.  It was a whirlwind trip except for the circling Chicago and sitting on the O’Hare tarmac for FOREVER.  The first night we got there we ate chicken quesadillas at the hotel’s cafeteria and then jetted err bussed off to Downtown Disney.  Women be shoppin’.

The next day we tried to beat the crowds to Animal Kingdom.  Don’t bother trying to beat the crowds to anywhere Disney.  There is always a crowd and you will always lose.  We booked it to Everest and they told us they were having technical difficulties…the only reason we came to this godforsaken land was to ride Everest!  We got fast passes but somehow my mom’s was a half hour later than mine.  We wandered over to the sorta cool Dinosaur ride and then hightailed it back to Everest which was working again.  We rode it three times then decided to pick up my race packet at ESPN.  That whole process took about 2 hours because the ESPN bus was like an endangered species.

The race shirt was totally ugz so I spent another 30 on a long sleeved I DID IT shirt.  People were lining up to get photos taken with Jeff Galloway WTF

Then we hit up Magic Kingdom for some Big Thunder Mountain Railroad.   Rode that a few times.  Shopped a bit.  Got tired of being pummeled by strollers so we went back to the hotel to chill.  My foot still hurt so I soaked them in a pool and took a nap.

The buses for the start always run ridiculously early so we ended up at Hollywood studios parking lot with almost 2 hours to kill.  We killed most of it in the portapotty line because my mom wouldn’t let me piss on a ‘Disney tree.’  The runners moved into the corrals and then we walked about a half mile to the starting line where they had that energizer bunny of a DJ making us dance gangham style.  I was in corral A so I was near the front and when the fireworks finally went of f, it only took about 20 seconds to cross the starting line.  My first mile was 6:50 and I was already drenched because of the jungle humidity.  My feet were killing me because I shoved them into my too small shoes that didn’t hurt the side of my foot where my tendon is strained, but sure as heck hurt my toes and arches.  I did the first 5k in 21 minutes which would be awesome if it were a 5k race.   But no I had to slog on through another 7 miles.  I don’t recall seeing any villains on the course other than the 3 hyenas from Lion King and a fake alligator by a lake.  Running through ESPN was cool because we circled their track and then the baseball field.  After that, it was another 2 miles of boring before we turned into Hollywood Studios.  That last mile was cool because of the crowds, but it felt really long.   At some point we left the park and then came back in behind the tower of terror so I couldn’t even really see it when we were finishing.  I finished in 73 minutes and whatever seconds.  I grabbed my medal and ate half a banana, then hurried out to meet my mom at Rock n Roller Coaster.

After riding Rock n 3 or 4 times, she finally convinced me to go on Tower of Terror.  HATE that ride.  Feels like my stomach is going to drop out of my ass.  Then we went to Star Tours and Toy Story.  By then it was almost 1:30 so we caught a bus back to the hotel.

Spent Sunday at Epcot.  Highlight–two words– Captain EO.  Oh and the Greek stand had delicious spanikopita.  Sunday night was spent at Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party.  Rode Big Thunder a few more times and then Space Mountain where a quick turn snapped my neck and gave me my weird crick back.  Couldn’t look left for the rest of the night.  Had way too much fun on the teacups.  Then came the downpour.  My mom bought me a poncho and then proceeded to laugh and call me a condom.  We gnawed a big ol turkey leg and then watched the parade and fireworks before crashing at the hotel.  The airport buses at Disney also come at an ungodly early time so we had to be waiting by 4:55 a.m.  The flights back were much smoother and coming home from O’Hare only took 25 minutes.

I ran again on Tuesday with stiff legs but now they are feeling better.   My foot is on and off.  Can’t figure out what to do other than rest it but that ain’t gonna happen.  Instead I’ve been icing and taking naproxen like candy.  Hoping to pull a ten miler out of my ass in the morning, but we’ll see.

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