looking forward

so I am back at work.  Just 8 hours this week and then 20 next week.  then it’s back to the full time 40 after Thanksgiving.  My incision drama continued last week, but is resolved, for now.  i am still convinced that it’s not really over and i will probably have another set back.  Last week he drained the middle and left side of it again.  I am worried that the right side will flare up next.  Today i went to see him and he gave me the all clear on the two locations that were drained.  It seems as though i am allergic to dissolvable sutures and they were pushing up through my skin.  so that is gross.  and hopefully something that can be changed next time.  yes, next time.  Despite all the weird pain/pressure during and the pain and issues after this c-section, i am still wanting to do it one more time.  Well not really wanting to do a c-section again, but i want another kid, so i have no choice.

after seeing the Dr. last week, I took 3 full days off from running.  he told me I was ok to run slow, but i didn’t want to risk it.  i came back on Monday with 3.5 miles, tuesday with 4.5, wednesday with 5.5, and a whole 7 miles today!  whoooo!  The last time I ran that far was the day before I had Elora.  It took me just over an hour.  My right hip was sore at the end because I think i am compensating for the pain I had in my incision on the left.  I think tomorrow will be a much needed rest day.

E seems to be on a schedule that looks like this… go to bed around 8:30 or 9, wake up to eat at 1 or 2, then start grunting at 5:30-6 a.m. This is usually when i am running, so if I am on the treadmill, she will continue to sleep.  If not, she will grunt and grunt until i wake her up to be fed.  hahaha.  So on days that I don’t run, I am still waking up pretty early to her grunt noises.  Just like with Red, she will wake up about 3 minutes after the treadmill stops running.  It’s like a white noise machine.  this motivates me to run as far as possible without a break.  it also means I don’t get much time for strength training or anything like that.  i have been doing planks in those 3 minutes, but no crunches because that still sounds too painful.  I do want to do more strength stuff so i will have to fit that in at other times of the day.  After I feed her, i try to calm her down so we can go upstairs and I can shower without waking up Red.  this doesn’t always go as planned.  Then i get dressed and we go back downstairs to watch TV while i feed Red or wait for her to wake up.  now that I am back to work, this is when i will need to be organized, have my clothes picked out, breakfast planned, and hopefully get in another pump before work.

Pumping has been going pretty good.  I have had a few painful plugged ducts, but they usually resolve themselves after a few pumps.  I have been pumping about 70 oz a day which is more than enough, and I do end up dumping some down the drain.  the milk bank never got back to me about donating, so i just dump the bottles that probably have caffeine in them.

Back to running-

I don’t have any goals for the winter.  I would like to start running outside at some point.  Hoping e starts sleeping later or something works out so I can do that.  However, it has been brutally cold and windy here already, so i am not really concerned too much about getting out there.  Turkey trot is on thanksgiving, but I am leaning towards not running it.  not really feeling like racing yet.  Winter brings the obvious race drought, but I would like to be training for something.  I am registered for Boston, but thinking that will be a no go.  So I will hopefully find something else closer to home to satisfy my training hunger.  Maybe just some half marathons.  i’m getting nerdy excited just thinking about it.

one handed typing

six weeks in,  E is doing well.  Not doing much other than sleeping and eating, but smiles will come soon.  I am still struggling to heal.  back to dr tomorrow and I will need to be drained again.  At least it’s ok to run.  Just superficially sore. I’m at about 4-6 miles 5 days a week.  All treadmill so I can stop to feed E.  Really ready for my incision BS to end.  Back to part time work next week and the following, then full time starting black Friday.  We will see how that goes, not the best at time management…

4 weeks in

so tomorrow marks 4 weeks of E being in this crazy world.  She is in her swing right now snoozing.  she still sleeps a lot, but not through the night.  She is usually awake for an hour to 2 and a half hours when she is awake.  Some days it seems like she is always fussy when she is awake.  the other night she screamed for an hour and a half.  This was after I gave her gripe water in her milk.  So who knows if that will work.  Usually she is pretty content in the daytime and does the fussy thing in the evening before bed.  That can be difficult to deal with when trying to get Red bathed and ready for bed at the same time.

my incision is looking pretty good.  Just a little superficial soreness.  Dr reopened it last week and I go back on Thursday for the all clear.  He told me to hold off on running until then.  I didn’t listen.  I had already run that morning.  If something felt off, I would stop, but so far, so good.  I started with 12 minute miles the first couple of days.  I am down to 9:15s as of today.  The biggest issue is that i still have a lot of air in my insides.  I have a constant side stitch that is more of a full all around the body stitch.  I run slightly bent over with terrible posture to deal with it.  I know it goes away.  I vaguely remember feeling it last time.

E tends to sleep when I am running on the mill, but one time I did have to get off and feed her. She fell back asleep and i finished.  My schedule looks like this..

bedtime- 10 ish, wake and pump- 2:30ish, wake up 5-5:30 a.m.  Sometimes I feed her, then run,  sometimes she is still sleeping so I run first and then feed her.  Then try to fit a shower in there afterwards, before Red wakes up.. Doesn’t always work that way but it will have to when I go back to work.

she’s starting to wake up and i have to pump again, so off I go

freakin weekend

Well I called the dr and got my appointment moved up a week which was a good move.  I had some sort of abcess in my incision so he reopened it and I have to drain it twice a day.  It’s the grossest thing ever but it’s made a huge difference in how I feel.  I am also on meds for infection.  They can cause diarrhea in infants (how can you tell, it’s all watery?) so I have to pump and dump sometimes when the medicine is at peak levels.  I also mix new milk with thawed milk to dilute it a bit.  It’s a job, but, hey, I am not working right now.  Well except for next week.  I have to secretly work for a few hours on things.

E is still very sleepy.  This worries me, but I also don’t want to complain.  When she is awake, most the time she seems pretty unhappy lately.  :(  she grunts and is in pain from gas.  At least she hasn’t found her cry voice yet.  It’s mostly just grunting.  We have gas drops and anti colic mam bottles, so those should help too.  I might need to cut out dairy.  She has slept “through the night” for the past three nights which is effing crazy for a three week old.  Red still doesn’t sleep through the night.  She was still waking up about 4 times a night at this stage.

I have been super lazy but I really want this incision to heal up nicely.  I hope to go on a solo walk today, just chill out and listen to some music, see how it feels.  I go back to the dr on Tuesday and will see when I can run/walk again.

update

Well i have a short time frame of being able to write this.  Red is at babysitter’s, (much to her chagrin) and E is napping.  I finally put her down after holding her for almost 2 hours.  I have been busy with Red lately and wanted to make it up to E, as if she notices.

So is the 2nd one easier?  I can’t say yet.  It’s only been 2 weeks.  Feels like forever ago.  E is still a sleepy baby.  I keep waiting for that to change.  I think it will happen soon. She usually has a longer awake period in the morning and then one before bed.  Last night she slept from 8:30-1:30 and then woke up at 4 and 6:30.  I think she’s going through a little growth spurt.

She is a little cranky after her feedings which we attribute to gas.  So we started to using gas drops and found some bottles that she really likes, MAM.  I need to order more of them.  She will take a binky for a while, but usually spits it out after a few minutes.  she likes being swaddled up tight.  RKY is better at that than I am, so I use the swaddle blankets with velcro.

I am getting enough sleep despite waking up twice a night to pump and once whenever she wakes up.  She’s pretty good about eating and dozing back to sleep.  RKY goes back to work in 2 days, so I am trying to figure out what my new schedule will be since I will need to shower and get ready before Red wakes up which is anywhere from 6:45-8 am.  I will have to figure out a schedule again after I start running.  By then, E should be more predictable.

So I don’t feel any closer to running than I did last week.  I am still popping my pain pills.  I am almost out of the strong stuff.  Then I have a ton of extra strength ibuprofen.  I really need to ask my dr next week why I am so much worse off than last time.  I’m sure RKY is getting sick of hearing me whine, but I really am sore all the time.  Especially in the morning.  I want to start going on regular walks tomorrow, but I am not sure I can even handle that at this point.  :(  last time I was running 3 weeks pp.  This time could be 6 wks or more.  It’s not really the not running part that’s bothering me.  I just want to feel halfway normal again.  Being able to stand up without hurting or getting out of bed without grimacing in pain.  I need to be able to wrangle my 3 yr old.

Speaking of her… she’s been very helpful and loves her sister.  But she cannot figure out how to handle a baby.  It’s very rough and it’s huge sloppy kisses all of the time.  Bouncing on the couch next to her, trying to pick her up, and moving her head around.  I hope she picks it up soon, because right now, I cannot leave to go to the next room with the two of them together.
Anyways, we will see how it goes over the next week and hope my incision feels better before my appointment on Tuesday.