freakin weekend

Well I called the dr and got my appointment moved up a week which was a good move.  I had some sort of abcess in my incision so he reopened it and I have to drain it twice a day.  It’s the grossest thing ever but it’s made a huge difference in how I feel.  I am also on meds for infection.  They can cause diarrhea in infants (how can you tell, it’s all watery?) so I have to pump and dump sometimes when the medicine is at peak levels.  I also mix new milk with thawed milk to dilute it a bit.  It’s a job, but, hey, I am not working right now.  Well except for next week.  I have to secretly work for a few hours on things.

E is still very sleepy.  This worries me, but I also don’t want to complain.  When she is awake, most the time she seems pretty unhappy lately.  :(  she grunts and is in pain from gas.  At least she hasn’t found her cry voice yet.  It’s mostly just grunting.  We have gas drops and anti colic mam bottles, so those should help too.  I might need to cut out dairy.  She has slept “through the night” for the past three nights which is effing crazy for a three week old.  Red still doesn’t sleep through the night.  She was still waking up about 4 times a night at this stage.

I have been super lazy but I really want this incision to heal up nicely.  I hope to go on a solo walk today, just chill out and listen to some music, see how it feels.  I go back to the dr on Tuesday and will see when I can run/walk again.

update

Well i have a short time frame of being able to write this.  Red is at babysitter’s, (much to her chagrin) and E is napping.  I finally put her down after holding her for almost 2 hours.  I have been busy with Red lately and wanted to make it up to E, as if she notices.

So is the 2nd one easier?  I can’t say yet.  It’s only been 2 weeks.  Feels like forever ago.  E is still a sleepy baby.  I keep waiting for that to change.  I think it will happen soon. She usually has a longer awake period in the morning and then one before bed.  Last night she slept from 8:30-1:30 and then woke up at 4 and 6:30.  I think she’s going through a little growth spurt.

She is a little cranky after her feedings which we attribute to gas.  So we started to using gas drops and found some bottles that she really likes, MAM.  I need to order more of them.  She will take a binky for a while, but usually spits it out after a few minutes.  she likes being swaddled up tight.  RKY is better at that than I am, so I use the swaddle blankets with velcro.

I am getting enough sleep despite waking up twice a night to pump and once whenever she wakes up.  She’s pretty good about eating and dozing back to sleep.  RKY goes back to work in 2 days, so I am trying to figure out what my new schedule will be since I will need to shower and get ready before Red wakes up which is anywhere from 6:45-8 am.  I will have to figure out a schedule again after I start running.  By then, E should be more predictable.

So I don’t feel any closer to running than I did last week.  I am still popping my pain pills.  I am almost out of the strong stuff.  Then I have a ton of extra strength ibuprofen.  I really need to ask my dr next week why I am so much worse off than last time.  I’m sure RKY is getting sick of hearing me whine, but I really am sore all the time.  Especially in the morning.  I want to start going on regular walks tomorrow, but I am not sure I can even handle that at this point.  :(  last time I was running 3 weeks pp.  This time could be 6 wks or more.  It’s not really the not running part that’s bothering me.  I just want to feel halfway normal again.  Being able to stand up without hurting or getting out of bed without grimacing in pain.  I need to be able to wrangle my 3 yr old.

Speaking of her… she’s been very helpful and loves her sister.  But she cannot figure out how to handle a baby.  It’s very rough and it’s huge sloppy kisses all of the time.  Bouncing on the couch next to her, trying to pick her up, and moving her head around.  I hope she picks it up soon, because right now, I cannot leave to go to the next room with the two of them together.
Anyways, we will see how it goes over the next week and hope my incision feels better before my appointment on Tuesday.

THE BIG DAY

Welp just sitting here with baby #2 in my ktan wrap.  Not sure she is in there right.  This thing is a little more complicated than I expected.

so going back…I did my last run on Monday morning.  I got in 7.25 miles on the treadmill.  Then I headed to my last Dr’s appt.  It was pretty pointless though I did learn that I had to be at the hospital at 5:30 am.  Then we had a fun day with Red doing…something?  I can’t remember.  too many drugs since then.  I know I finally headed in to work around 5 p.m.  Cleaned my office for an hour and a half.  Came home and quick ate a cheeseburger and walked to the ice cream store before my fast had to begin.  I told Red that Mama would be there when she woke up.  Slept not great because contractions started and a steady “bloody show” began.  They were still pretty far apart though.

Got to the hospital and checked in.  They took me to a delivery room suite to get prepped.  Unfortunately, I got moved afterwards.  Nurses started coming at me in all directions, it made me very anxious.  I got an IV, got blood drawn, hooked up to monitors.  Finally got catheter and that burned so bad.  I about had a panic attack while I waited for the doctor.  I rested for a bit then met with Dr and anesthesiologist.  He asked me questions and then the nurses walked me to the OR.  More people were in there getting all set up.  I climbed up on the table and had to hug a pillow. Mr Dr stood in front and hugged me to hold me still during the spinal block.  Didn’t feel much but burning and electrical shocks as they tested it.  Laid down and he pricked me with a needle up and down my tummy to check feeling.  Then RKY entered and they raised the curtain.

I didn’t feel much as he reopened my incision.  He said he cut out some scar tissue.  Then he asked if I was ready, well duh.  Some tugging and pulling and then he said, She looks like her sister.  RKY looked over the curtain and said her head was out.  More pulling and tugging and I started to feel nauseous.  She was out.  They cleaned her up and RKY was looking and telling me what she weighed etc.  (6lbs 14 oz)  Then things got bad for me.  I felt really sick and the pressure was almost unbearable.  RKY kept telling me to just look at the baby who was now in his arms.  I had to grip the table sides and close my eyes so I wouldn’t pass out.  The anestheologist said he gave me nausea medicine.  I still felt like passing out.  So much pressure.  It was so much worse than last time.  I don’t think he gave me enough spinal block?  He said, theyre putting the uterus back in and then it’ll feel better.  It did feel somewhat better.  Finally they put staples in me and I don’t remember much about going back to the room.  The nurses were caring for her when I got there.  They let me do skin to skin and try to breastfeed for a bit.  Then RKY wrapped her up and said her name he chose.  I was happy with it.  She does look like her sister.  But with a smaller, more average sized head.

They wheeled me to a different room which was much smaller and blah.  The next couple days were boring and uncomfortable.  I wanted the catheter out.  Finally got it out Wednesday morning at 1:30 which was kinda pointless.  I did get up and try to pee anyway.  It was a little hard, but eventually I got to peeing normal again.  My incision didn’t hurt much but I did take some motrin.  I eventually felt more and took a couple norcos and they have been a lifesaver since I have been home.  I pumped a lot, tried breastfeeding, had a few visitors but was mostly bored in the hospital.  Got blood taken and eventually got my IV out and unhooked from everything.  I hated being hooked to everything in bed.  We got out on Thursday around 3 pm.

yea, so tomorrow is the big day.  I am a little surprised I haven’t gone into labor yet.  I guess I just assumed that was a real possibility with me being so active and Red coming a bit early.  The c-section is scheduled 5 days before my actual due date.

It’s weird to know that tomorrow will bring a big change.  I am trying really hard not to think about the whole process…getting an IV is kinda scary and probably the least of my worries, but still freaking me out.  that and then getting blood drawn, a catheter, a shot in my back that basically paralyzes me….yea.  gotta stop my brain now.

We have to be at the hospital at 5:30 in the morning to check in.  c-section should begin around 7.  It’s going to be a long day.  But hopefully a really good one.  In retrospect.  I gotta keep my eyes on the prize and not think too much during the surgery.  Just try to relax and let RKY calm me down until I hear the baby cries.

Red will come visit that afternoon.  she has school in the morning.  It’s picture day.  I hope I don’t get all weepy when she shows up.  probably will.  Hormones.  sheesh.

still here

Still here.  Haven’t really felt close to labor.  Sometimes I think I am having random contractions and then I end up figuring out it’s just gas or me having to go #2 or the baby trying to stretch herself out.  I haven’t felt her since early this morning, so I am hoping to get her moving again by eating some sugar.  Just for peace of mind…and sugar.

Yesterday I woke up with a terrible sinus headache.  So instead of doing 5 miles, I went back to bed for an hour.  Then I woke up and still had time to run 3 miles.  After work I hopped back on the treadmill while I waited for my mom to bring Red home.  I managed another 2 miles.  I did 1 more mile later that night during Red’s limited Kindle time.  6 for the day… not exactly stellar, but I was happy because that meant today could be an easy day!

I was worried about waking up feeling crummy again since I coughed a lot last night.  However, I woke up and felt pretty good.  A little heavy headed.  I ran an easy 2 miles.  I hope to do 5-6 miles for my next two runs.  Take it easy a bit on Sunday (maybe) and then do a longer run on Monday.  My last day to run.  Maybe I will run twice for good measure.  I have suddenly gotten to the point where 5-6 miles feels like a lot.  I think it’s all mental, though I do feel twinges in my right hip and hamstring lately.

I hope to clean up the house majorly this weekend.  We are slobs.  I know this.  I also want to get some changing and pumping stations set up around the house.  I somehow ended up with 5 automatic breast pumps.  I think two of them are on the fritz from overusing them last go around.  Two are used ones I got in a swap, one I need to sterilize yet.  The other one is a Philips Avent one that I am not sure will work for me.  The Medelas worked best last time.  I have a Philips manual pump I need to assemble too.  That always worked well for me too, but was squeaky and obviously hard on my hand.

This weekend RKY begins his leave too (but only for 2 weeks).  So I hope we have some fun times.  Trying to plan out where I want to eat for my last big meal.  Maybe a burger from Red Robin.  Barbeque sounds good too.  Basically, anything with a lot of meat.  My last doctor’s appt is Monday morning and I’ll need to ask him what time to get the hospital and all that logistical stuff.  Also want to find out difference between spinal block and epidural and which I will be getting.  I could probably Google that.  I’m trying not to think about getting an IV, shot in my back, and catheter.  Then laying in the cold room being cut open and just waiting and waiting for baby’s cries.  Then being stuck on the table being stitched up while RKY gets to snuggle her.

Oh I just felt her move.  Sugar worked!